I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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