Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
