All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
