why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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