Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize