The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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