Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
