We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
