Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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