then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
