We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
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Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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