It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
