I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize