The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
