Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
