If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
