he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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