The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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