i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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