I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
