It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
