whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
