Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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