Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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