Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
