Apparently you make a good broom.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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