Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
