On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize