So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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