She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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