i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the day after is always just damage control
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
