Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
