If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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