just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Couch. On fire.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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