Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
