get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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