I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
