508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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