he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
