I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
