You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also, beer. Big fan.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
