I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
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I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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