I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Even my vagina gasped.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
