it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
