You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
