doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
