Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
