Porn is love you can see.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
