O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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