I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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