I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
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My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
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Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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