I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
