Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
