Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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