So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
