my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
