Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
