my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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