i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
