Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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