We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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