I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
